Still no baby but it is okay

So still no baby yet. But that's okay. I have resigned myself to the fact he is going to come when he comes and my impatience is probably making the whole process seem longer! So I have decided to take advantage of my time at home with Cian and to enjoy him as much as humanly possible because soon my attentions will be pulled in even more directions!

So enjoy him I did today. He is such a sweet little boy and so adventurous. One minute he will be playing with some toys and he will just get up, come over and give me a hug, then go back to what he was doing without a thought. It melts my heart! The next minute he is climbing various pieces of furniture and trying to figure out just how close to the ceiling he can possibly get. I love to see his personality coming out in his different activities. He is at the stage where he loves to mimic others actions which really has me keeping a close eye on myself! Cian's boot was in the living room and not feeling like walking it to the hall I tossed it over with the rest of the shoes. Five minutes later Cian's game was throw the boot! He kept retrieving it and throwing it (probably not the best example of housekeeping to teach my child). In a better example of housekeeping I did a little vacuuming this afternoon and Cian wanted to get in on the action so I gave him the hose and he went around sucking up dust bunnies. Perhaps tomorrow if I show him how to scrub the toilet I can pass along that chore to him as well. tee hee. (not likely at 18 months and by the time he's old enough I am sure the novelty will have worn off).

So tomorrow is another day and if the baby doesn't make an appearance well so be it. It will just be one more special day for me to take advantage of the time I have just with Cian.

I am 37 weeks pregnant and for the last 8 weeks or so have been on short term disability due to major sciatica. So I am basically in constant pain at all times. Bad enough on its own but...... add to that a very active 17 month old little boy and life has become a great challenge to say the least. Because I can't do absolutely everything for him he is learning independence very quickly. Even though I had really hoped to spend these last weeks babying my baby I think this forced jump into independence will prove to be good for both him and me once the new baby comes along. He can now do little things like climb into his booster seat and pick himself up after a fall and come to me rather than being scooped up everytime, he's even helped me take the laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer. And I think being forced into manhood (haha) before, rather than after the new baby comes will help him be less resentful of a new little being grabbing mamas attention. I think all moms go through a certain amount of mommy guilt. Am I a good mom? Did I do a good job today? Did I nurture enough? Did I feed nutritious foods? Give enough attention? Enough love? The list of questions could go on. Since my back has been compromised I feel like a bad mom every day! I know I have to stop beating myself up and that moms in general are to hard on themselves. Cian was in the dayhome for the first month I was home but is now home with me. It is hard for me now to get down on the floor with him to play and it is a great challenge to even just get out of the house. I have been trying to keep the little muffin entertained here at home which has been okay but this week got abnormally hard. I think we both started to get cabin fever!!! So we ventured out to one of my girlfriends houses to have a mommy visit and let Cian run around with her 2 girls in a different environment! What a relief to just get out of the house. I feel so mentally refreshed just having two hours with another adult. Don't get me wrong I love the time I spend at home with my little muffin but I can't wait until we can get back to some active living!

No more lurking

Confession time. I've been an avid blog reader for going on two years now. I think what I would be called in the blogger world is a"lurker". I read tonnes of blogs everyday but have never really taken the time to become part of any blogger community. I don't leave comments or thoughts or give feedback to the bloggers pouring their hearts, souls, minds out for all to read. Nope I just lurk. Like peeping in a living room window. But no more.I too am going to put myself out there. Thoughts, feelings struggles, triumphs all of it. And along the way I intend to comment and get involved in the blogging community.