I am 37 weeks pregnant and for the last 8 weeks or so have been on short term disability due to major sciatica. So I am basically in constant pain at all times. Bad enough on its own but...... add to that a very active 17 month old little boy and life has become a great challenge to say the least. Because I can't do absolutely everything for him he is learning independence very quickly. Even though I had really hoped to spend these last weeks babying my baby I think this forced jump into independence will prove to be good for both him and me once the new baby comes along. He can now do little things like climb into his booster seat and pick himself up after a fall and come to me rather than being scooped up everytime, he's even helped me take the laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer. And I think being forced into manhood (haha) before, rather than after the new baby comes will help him be less resentful of a new little being grabbing mamas attention. I think all moms go through a certain amount of mommy guilt. Am I a good mom? Did I do a good job today? Did I nurture enough? Did I feed nutritious foods? Give enough attention? Enough love? The list of questions could go on. Since my back has been compromised I feel like a bad mom every day! I know I have to stop beating myself up and that moms in general are to hard on themselves. Cian was in the dayhome for the first month I was home but is now home with me. It is hard for me now to get down on the floor with him to play and it is a great challenge to even just get out of the house. I have been trying to keep the little muffin entertained here at home which has been okay but this week got abnormally hard. I think we both started to get cabin fever!!! So we ventured out to one of my girlfriends houses to have a mommy visit and let Cian run around with her 2 girls in a different environment! What a relief to just get out of the house. I feel so mentally refreshed just having two hours with another adult. Don't get me wrong I love the time I spend at home with my little muffin but I can't wait until we can get back to some active living!